I’m having a hard time getting in the Christmas spirit this year. Not sure what it is. Joel is gone tonight, and it’s hitting me really hard that we don’t even have our tree up and it’s the 11th of December. I don’t have shopping done. And after looking over our accounts, it’s going to be hard to finish up this week like I’d hoped.
I keep thinking about our miscarriage. Why I’m not sure. Probably because we’d talked of looking into adoption or foster care around Thanksgiving, and haven’t done more since.
I miss my mom. I hate this time of year because she’s not here. The last time she was here for Christmas was 6 years ago. We have plenty of family that loves us, and we get to see around Christmas time, but there is something about having your mommy home for Christmas.
Joel isn’t home tonight. I’m not missing him because I know he’s having a good time. And the kids are actually being angels so what the hell my deal is, is beyond me. Just a a big ole pitty party I guess. I have so much on my to-do list, and nothing is getting done.
Seriously, anyone who knows me IRL can come over tomorrow and help get me in gear to get my tree put up, and cookies made. And maybe help time slow down for just a little bit! I’m overwhelmed!
Pity parties are more fun with a bottle of wine. Just sayin'...
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to be in a funk and it's okay to be you. If you don't live up to their standard then to hell with them. Live your life on your terms and you'll do alright.
Amanda, please know that you are an inspiration. Your dedication to your family, children and friends is so obvious and it is a rare quality to find. Keep your faith and embrace those qualities that make you so amazing. You're allowed to be in a funk until you're ready to break free. :)
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