Happy Birthday MacKenzie!

Since I’m all sorts of behind on blogging I figured why not catch up in order! When Dahrran got into school we decided we weren't going to do big parties for EVERY birthday they had while in school. We set the rule at one big party in Kindergarten, and we would go from there on the rest of the years. Thankfully Dahrran hasn’t asked for anything but sleepovers since!

MacKenzie wanted to take everyone to Chucky Cheese for her birthday, which would’ve been an okay thing except the closest Chucky Cheese is an hour away. Which still isn’t bad except the fact that there are 7 girls in her class and my car only holds 6 passengers (besides myself). So we settled on bowling instead!

She wasn’t quite sure at first how to get started, but with a little help from daddy she was well on her way to being a great bowler!

This is a super blurry picture but it captures most of the moments when each of the girls would get it all the way down the lane!

   

Since the bowling alley we went to only had one set of bumpers there was a lot of laying around during turns!

I got the idea for MacKenzie’s cake from Family Fun Magazine! We improvised some and I’m glad I did! I’m not sure the kids would’ve eaten the coconut on the cupcakes!

  

I love that these girls are already friends. There are a total of 24 kids in MacKenzie’s grade, and only 7 girls! (one was sick unfortunately the day of the party) Hopefully they’ll grow even closer as the years go on!

Even Kaitlynn got to come to her “sisters party” and she loved every minute of it!

Kaitlynn’s Spring Program

Kaitlynn’s program was held on a different night than the big kids programs. They did cookies and a gathering afterwards and it was kind of nice! We LOVE LOVE LOVE Mrs. Rockenbach. She’s so sweet, and she’s amazing as the kids teacher. We even got to meet her before school started last fall when she came to the house for her “home visit.” I love that they did that, Kaitlynn wasn’t quite as shy to go into her classroom on the first day of school.

And of course I couldn’t leave you without a video. I love videos these days. They let you in on a little bit of our life. There is a part where we all bust out laughing, you can hear MacKenzie, as well as the camera shakes some! Enjoy!

  

A little bike riding

Dahrran has been one child who could care less if he had a bike to ride or not. He was almost 4 before he even learned to pedal the thing! He learned just last year how to ride without training wheels, even though the whole summer before one was broken and he was getting by with just one. It was something about the security of having them on that made him feel safe.

MacKenzie on the other hand is a little dare devil. She would ride super fast with her training wheels on and stand up. Dahrran was starting to get to big for his bike and so we decided yesterday to pick him up a new one. MacKenzie declared this afternoon that she was going to try riding Dahrran’s bike today, even though yesterday we offered to take her training wheels off. I knew she’d be a natural at it, and after only holding on to her for about 5 feet she was on her way. (Dahrran would FREAK if we even said we were going to let go!)

Here’s a little video I got of her second time riding without training wheels! :) She now has graduated to Dahrran’s old bike and has passed hers on to Kaitlynn! It was a win win, because Kaitlynn was going to need a new bike this summer too! Now if I could only break down and buy myself a bike!!!

Overcoming this feeling

If you’re new here you might not know that we’ve had a miscarriage. Only one, so please don’t feel overly sorry for me there are moms out there who truly know the loss. We’re just amatures when it comes to this whole thing. We have friends who’ve had multiple losses and have no kids yet. So I don’t really feel that bad for myself. I mean come on, I have 3 perfectly healthy children what more could I ask for.

But yet there is this sinking feeling every time someone else tells me they’re pregnant. I get angry. Upset. Anxious. And then the joy sets in for them. Some how the feeling fades away and I become happy for them. But until that feeling passes I put on a happy face and tell them Congratulations. It’s just how I deal.

I don’t want to deal anymore. I want to be. I want to truly be happy for them when they tell me, excited for them. After all it’s  been over a year, shouldn’t I have moved on by now. Though when July rolls around I know I’m going to cry. We should’ve been celebrating our sweet little baby’s first birthday. Instead we’ll carry on, and get through the day.

What’s harder almost though than knowing someone else is carrying a baby, is the face Joel gets when he finds out. It’s pure disappointment. He wants another baby just as much as I do. The baby we lost was one that brought us together after a rough  patch in our marriage. The loss brought us closer. We’ve struggled to figure out where to go from here since, but have finally found a common path. One we want to head down together.

So tell me, how do you over come this? Will I feel like this, until we complete our family and have another baby? What if that day never comes? That is the real question.

Kaitlynn turns 3

Our sweet little baby turned three last month. THREE. How can it be that she is three already! I know the first year was kind of a blur with everything that happened, but it hasn’t been 3 years. Has it?

Maybe it has. She’s grown up so much in the last few months. Talking all the time. She’s now a bossy little girl, who can tell you what she wants, how she wants it, and when she wants it done. Usually it’s NOW. She is also our lover. I thought MacKenzie was lovey, but this girl is even more so. Her favorite thing to do is cuddle up and give you kisses. But she’s feisty too. Don’t let her charm fool you. If you don’t give in to what she wants,  you’re in trouble!

 
She can turn on and off the charm in a New York minute! And unleash her wrath as needed. She’s already stomping off, and slamming doors when she doesn’t get her way. At the same time though she's the one who will come up and tell you “I Love you” out of no where. And share anything with you just because.

The girl loves Peanut Butter M & M’s but not the blue ones. Something about them I guess. She will eat us out of house and home if we let her. But some days you’d think I was feeding a mouse. She’s tall, skinny, and has so much energy. She loves her sister, and they are the best of friends. Our first cloth diaper baby, that showed me the way to be “greener” in our lifestyle.

 

She’s become so independent. Started Preschool. And now has so many friends I cannot count. When you ask her about school she will tell you “There are Two Kaitlynn’s in my class.” Although she is not a morning person. This girl loves naps. One day we took a nap at 9:30am, just because. Such a girlie girl as well. Loves her nails painted, and to be told she looks cute!

 

Happy Birthday sweet Kaitlynn!

First day of School

Last year at Kindergarten round up the teacher did a neat thing where they planted a sunflower with the kids. They then told them that when the sunflower was taller than they were, and had bloomed it was time for school to start. They also got to bring home extra seeds “just in case” and we decided to plant them all. We ended up with 3 sunflowers out of 4, which I didn’t feel was too bad.

They got HUGE. Taller than our garage. The one that is all drooped over was the one they planted at school. The one she is standing next to has bloomed and it’s flower is stuck under the edge of the garage.

I’m not exactly sure everyone was awake for this picture!

Then there are the traditional close up/full body shots!

My big 2nd grader

My sweet Kindergartener

And my adorable preschooler

 

And of course one more group shot for good measure!

Headed to the bus.

I love these shots. They all did so good!

Bus driver is great. “Turn and Look at mom.” And of course them all waving. THIS is the moment I broke down crying. I was fine before they got on the bus. When it drove away I bawled!

More letting go....

See I told you there was more instore this week on letting go....I've had to do a lot of it this week. I think this is the week that defines that my baby has become a toddler. Full fleged on her own, must do it myself, toddler. I really wasn't quite looking forward to it if you were to ask. I mean really who wants thier baby to grow into a toddler. It's just amazing to me how quickly they grow up.

See we turned her bed into a toddler bed, with not much fuss from her. She's enjoying every moment of it....except when she gets in trouble for getting out of bed at night. Thank goodness we've only had to put her back to bed about once a night. Nap time now that's another story.

But for now she's hanging out enjoying her new bed!

I'm letting go.

Why is it so much harder this time to let go? With Dahrran and MacKenzie I didn't mind watching them do "big kid" things. I LOVED IT. I couldn't wait for them to talk, walk, run, you name it, I pushed it. I pushed everything they did. (okay so maybe I didn't but it now feels like it!)

This time is different. I have to let go, I need to learn that it's okay. Joel makes fun of me because I won't let go. I wanted her to walk so. badly. but now that she has, I want to. carry. her. WHY? Why don't I want her to walk? Maybe it's because it's the middle of winter for crying out loud. But she wants me to let go, and I know it. Take for instance the other day.

She climbed into the chair to eat her lunch, and I decided it was probably time to get the booster seat out. Not that I'm at all ready, but she is LOVIN IT.

See I told you she was loving this...and the grilled cheese!


I'm just not sure I'm ready for all the changes around here that are about to happen!