Addysen's Baptisim

Not many people know this. It took us a long time to conceive Addysen. There were times where I had given up the hope of ever having a 4th child. I thought we would always be a family of 5. This was something that had weighed on my heart heavily. I have this thing with odd numbers you see....and being a family of 5 was killing me. But really, I felt like we weren't complete. Something Someone was missing.

Shortly before we found out we were pregnant, we had decided to go down the foster care/foster adopt path. We were just starting to get our ducks in a row, and had the chance to go to an informational meeting on getting started. Something in my heart told me we weren't quite ready just yet, and so we decided to hold off on going to the meeting and would attend the next months'. Just a few short weeks later, and I found out I was pregnant. I'm one who believes God has a plan for us, and this was his plan. Three long years of waiting and we were finally going to add to our family.

During our TTC journey I'd grown closer to finding my faith. It has been a long path over the last 10 years. Joel is Catholic, and I was raised in a Presbyterian family who really only went to church on major holidays. The journey to figure out where I fit in has been a tough one. I finally had decided I was ready to become Catholic, and raise our children the same way. It's such a blessing to be able to see our children grow in the love and faith of God.

The day of Addysen's baptisim was a beautiful day, we had all of Joel's family and some of mine present. Joel's sister and brother-in-law are Addysen's godparents and I'm so proud to call them my family as well.

Scrumptious Pull Apart Bread

This week the kids have been attending a Vacation Bible School (VBS) at our local Lutheran church. This is the second year they’ve attended. Last year they did a BBQ afterwards and this year they had a breakfast before!

I’m really not that great at making breakfast foods. It’s just not my cup of tea. I actually quit making cinnamon rolls from scratch because they always tasted like rocks! Joel’s mom makes AMAZING to die for rolls and mine just can’t stand up. So I really was in a situation on what to make for this breakfast.

I hopped on face book and asked my friends what to do. One of them suggested I make this Cinnamon Sugar Pull Apart Bread.

*Photo courtesy of : Joy the Baker*

It looked so yummy and so simple. And it was just that. I decided I was going to use my bread maker to make up the dough which worked out perfectly once I realized my machine had a delay function! I threw the ingredients in the machine and set it for 7:30 am. When I got up the dough was ready, and it didn’t take long to get it thrown together in the oven!

Since I didn’t have the pan size called for I improvised and just put it into two loaf pans. Not thinking of blogging about it, this is the only picture I got of the process! I did end up making up a quick cream cheese frosting to drizzle on the top, which really just brought it all together! It tasted so yummy, and was half gone! I’d call it a total success. Not to mention the fact that I’ve been craving it since Sunday!

Wow, it’s been awhile

Yes it’s true we’re still alive here in the Cast household.  We’ve been super busy with well, nothing really. Just life I guess.

For the last 6 months I’ve been working 3 part time jobs simultaneously. My house has gone to the wolves, and it was a fend for yourself kind of household. Within the last month I was recently let go from one of the jobs I love due to lack of funds. It didn’t really hit me how bad the economy is until then. But it’s been a blessing in disguise. I’ve had more time to work on the relationships that mean the most to me.

Since December Joel and I have been having a hard time being husband and wife. We even separated for a while to figure out who we each wanted to be, and to be sure that we still wanted to be with each other. Most people wouldn’t put this on their blog, but I feel why not. It happens all the time.

Thankfully we’re back on track to working things out, and back together. I wouldn’t recommend separation to everyone, but if you’re at your final straw why not try it for a while. It will either make you realize how much you truly NEED the other person in your life, or will just reiterate the facts that you’re better off apart. We’ve both done a lot of growing, and Joel has found his faith again through all of this.

So back to  blogging I’m a coming! Be ready, I’m going to be a better blogger…..you know now that I have a little more “free” time on my hands! :)

Gods plans

I was working on the pictures of the kids first day of school when I came across an email in my work inbox that pointed me towards a blog of a mother who lost her 3rd baby. As I got reading her blog, I came across videos of . oh forget it. I cannot find the words, so I’m just going to put them up here.

    

I remember reading Angie’s Blog a year or so ago. I found it when another blog that I read had linked up. I remember feeling so sad for them and their loss, but never thought the loss of a child would happen to me. I didn’t think that I would ever have a miscarriage.

I’ve been struggling with religion lately. And where I belong in it all. I know God exists, I believe he died on the cross for our sins. But I don’t “know” God. I know the basics of religion, and what I believe. On the same note, I’ve never really read many stories in the Bible. I’ve never honestly taken a deeper look at all of the things God can do.

You see Joel and I are different religions. Which really in all honesty of the picture shouldn’t matter. We both believe in God, and all of the basics, but neither of us truly know God. Joel’s family is pretty strict on going to church, and such. That’s what their religion is all about. Mine on the other hand isn’t quite so strict. We’re about teaching the stories of God, and singing praises.

I’ve had a rough time in all of the strictness that comes with Joel’s religion. So I thought taking a class to better understand it would do me some good. And it did. But I’m still at a loss. I don’t feel comfortable. It just doesn’t feel “right.” For me. (that’s the big thing here)

At that same time, we’ve been sending Dahrran to CCD once a week for the last 2 years. With us not going to church much in between. Maybe once every few months. We were doing good for a while, until I decided it didn’t feel right. This year he will be taking his first communion.

Joel and I got in a disagreement this last Wednesday because I was treated rudely by a member of his church, after talking with her about when CCD was to start. She basically told me that it was our responsibility to get the bulletin & then we would know. IF I was going to church there, then I would have gotten the bulletin. BUT since it is not my church and I have NOT been going there, how can I get the bulletin?!?!? Needless to say I told him he needed to start taking them, and deal with it if he wanted them to remain going to CCD on Wednesday nights. (which he did)

Where does this bring me? Why am I rambling. I don’t honestly know. I just know that God brought me in a direction tonight, and he wants me to figure this out. I just don’t know what he’s saying exactly. Sometimes I wish he’d just spell it out.

I cried. For the loss of my baby. For the strain this (religion) has on our marriage. For feeling lost and empty. For the longing of knowing God on a more personal level. For being the person God made me to truly be.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Wordless Wednesday – OR NOT

Cloth Diapers for a friend. I know I haven’t posted this yet. And I promised an email to all the mama’s that helped me out, with pictures. But I’m sorry this is going to have to do!

Jessica is a great mom to two beautiful kiddos. But just a few short months ago her life changed. She was called to be the caregiver for her two small nieces. Did I mention she has two kiddos, and her oldest is only 4? Her nieces are young as well. This mama has 4 little kiddos under the age of 4 living at her house. She’s one strong mama.

One night she mentioned that she’d love to be able to cloth diaper both girls to help save on their diaper bill as well as save some of the trash going into their can. This is when my brain child was born. I decided I was going to put a box of diapers together even if I had to send her all my diapers.

Thankfully there are a ton of great mom’s out there on Twitter & they answered my call on #clothdiapers search! I asked them to send one diaper they wern’t using and I would send them all on. Some mama’s were able to spare 3 or 4 diapers! In total we were able to get her 18 more cloth diapers, as well as some wipes, fleece liners, and a gift card to Top to Bottom Baby Boutique.

Bottom Row of Diapers, Top row of Diapers

   

My sweet little helper!

  

The total Loot.

You can read Jessica’s post here on her box.

Thank you to all the ladies who helped me out!!!

Katie Sanchez
Chanda Pressley
Andrea Campbell
Renee Tower
Joanna Stepka
Jessica Quick
Kaylyn Buckner|
Shannon Story

Thankful

I’m sorry I’ve been such a slacker! Seems I’ve been that way all my life! My house is never perfect, my clothes aren’t always clean and the ones that are surely aren’t folded. My kids don’t get regular baths, and well sometimes I don’t either. Guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry I tried to be better! But my house is getting cleaner, and I am getting better there. A mom can only do so much before she feels overwhelmed.

I have TONS of pictures to post and plenty of blog posts to write, so I figured this past weekend would’ve been the perfect time. Until I got a call from my dad. It was a call I’ll never forget. He proceeded to tell me that my baby sister was in a car accident. He didn’t know many of the details he just knew she was really shook up and from the sounds of it they’d collided head on.

As him and I headed into Lincoln I was able to get more details of where she was at, and where her car was at. She had been transported to the hospital, and the other driver hadn’t. When I called the hospital they informed us they’d taken her in for some scans but that was all they could tell us until we go there.

When we arrived at the hospital we were informed that she was in a room and so we headed to see her. That was the longest hall ever! When someone you love is at the end of it, and you have no idea what type of condition they are in is scary! Thankfully she was laying in the hospital bed in a gown and was okay as far as we could tell.

It shook her up pretty bad. She was on her lunch break and headed back to work when she went to turn on the main road. She had a green light, and the other driver said he also had a green light (couldn’t be possible). The other driver then hit her passenger side front. She was hit pretty hard. From the looks of the scene the other driver didn’t even slow down at all. Her spare tire that was in her trunk ended on the floor board behind the driver side seat.

Thankfully she only ended up with bumps and bruises out of the ordeal. A sprained ankle, bruises and large bump on her knee. But she wasn’t in much shape to get around by herself. Thankfully we didn’t have much going on and so I offered to let her stay with us and then bring her home tomorrow.

So that’s part of the reason I haven’t been blogging much. Actually I’d just posted the Favorite Fluff Friday post when I got the call!

To top it all off, my other sister and step sister got in a car accident last night with a couple friends. Thankfully theirs wasn’t too serious but they still ended up with whiplash & mild concussions. At that rate I’m not really wanting to drive anywhere anytime soon…..too bad Lindsey and I both have Dentist appointments tomorrow!! :(

Did you ?

…notice the new look?!?!?

What do you think?

Personally, I’m in LOVE with it. You see I’ve wanted a layout like this FOUR-EV-ER!! The picture header, oh the header. You see those are a few of my favorite pictures, but I couldn’t get the one of our family edited right.

I’ve done a lot of my own blog work in the past. Changing headers, creating backgrounds, changing the layout, but nothing like this. Nothing like a total makeover. When I stripped my blog down I begged and pleaded for someone to just take care of it. Take care of it, so I could focus on taking care of myself.

I wanted a fresh start.

Enter a friend I met through blogging. A friend who amazingly enough lives just 30 minutes from me. A friend who has two sweet little kiddos, one of which shares MacKenzie’s name. A friend who has been through a lot in the past year. I wish I could've helped more, but thankfully that doesn’t bother her. She’s great like that. Even though I couldn’t help her, she swooped in to help me!

Meet Jenny

Did I mention that she’s super sweet…okay so I didn’t but you guessed it, right?!?

Any who Jenny swooped in and offered to change things up around here for me! Jenny & her husband Greg have started a new business creating and installing Flash Headers. (you know like what’s up there at the top of my blog)

Jenny & Greg Designs

 Jenny was great. She took what I gave her…which believe me wasn’t much, because I didn’t know what I wanted…and turned it into beautiful, creative and awesome! I love the new look!!! Jenny sent me previews, and would change whatever I needed. Even after changing my mind a few times she still changed it up! Jenny is so great to work with.  Go on, now. . . I said go. . .Really go!!! ******************************************************And if you’re all still sitting around here, I suppose you’re all wondering how my appointment went on Monday. I’m sorry I haven’t posted sooner, but I decided yesterday to go get groceries, and it was a last minute decision.  

The appointment went well. The ultra sound showed nothing abnormal, and no little bean either. The doctor isn’t sure what was going on but decided it would be best for me to go on Provera (a hormone pill) for about 10 days. We’re hoping that will work. If it doesn’t he is talking of putting me on birth control.

 

Now, not that I have a problem with birth control because I’ve been on it before. But Joel and I are getting more in tune with our Faith, and had decided before we got pg that we would be using Natural Family Planning as our birth control from now on. It is a decision we should’ve made after we had Kaitlynn, but with everything that happened we just wanted to get through that all without having to worry.

So please say a little prayer that this works. If it doesn’t I will be looking into a Natural Family Planning physician and see if he has any suggestions. I love my doctor, but I don’t want to be forced to go on Birth Control and that’s where he was headed. Right now our Faith is more important.