Ever have a moment?

When you wish there was someone in the room just taking pictures? Or to even be a “fly on the wall?”

I had one of those moments on Saturday. We’d just gotten home from a long day at softball tournaments (well Joel and the kids were at them, I was at work until the last game!) and everyone was cranky. Joel and I laid down on the bed with our legs dangling over the sides. In came the girls, soon MacKenzie had made her way on top of me to cuddle. For no reason whatsoever Kaitlynn started to cry, and all she would say was “mooom-mieeee.” Eventually I got her to crawl up on to our bed and climb on top of me (after some persuasion to MacKenzie to move.)

It was one of those moments when I KNEW everyone was going to crash within moments. I summoned Dahrran into our room and told him to lay down. Within 5 minutes everyone was asleep except myself. Even Joel was snoring. I laid there and thought to myself, it would be so awesome to have this moment on film. To just have us all as a family, and laying here.

I then decided I wasn’t going to let this moment go. I slowly worked my way out of the pile and took a picture. I was laying there underneath Kaitlynn. Such a precious moment!

Spring Game Fun

We’ve taken the kids to other spring football games in the past, and kind of decided the last couple of years to not go. This year we’d thought about it, but just decided to not go again. That was until a lady Joel works with offered him 5 tickets. We really didn’t have anything planned that day except hanging out at home so we thought why not!

MacKenzie wasn’t really excited at first to go to a football game for her birthday (oh forgot to mention it was scheduled for her birthday!) but when we told her we had decided to go out for supper she was all about it.

The week leading up to the game was cold, rainy and even threatened snow in April!!! But thankfully come game day it wasn’t too bad. By the time the game started we were sitting on our coats! I’d made these super cute dresses for the game, and they did get to sport them for a while! (even though I don’t really have decent pictures of them, hopefully it’s a post for another day!)

 

We also decided to just get a motel in Lincoln with a pool for MacKenzie’s Birthday…….but of course by the time we got to the motel BOTH my camera’s were dead! :(

Happy Birthday miss MacKenzie!!

Emerging from the Craft Room

I got a wild hair last week to redecorate/paint my craft room. We were set to do a whole makeover with cabinetry and all. Have you priced cupboards and countertops lately??? OH MY! For the space we were wanting to put in cupboards, I figured we’d spend around $500.00, but hopefully less. Little did I know! We chose the cheapest cabinets and by far the cheapest countertop and still ended up with a bill of $750.00 for a 54” space. CRAZY! It consisted of 4 total cabinets.

After a humbling trip to Menards we decided to just forget the cabinets. Instead I decided to paint and just buy a white table to put up. I also decided to do a chalkboard wall, which Joel wasn’t exactly pleased with the idea of. As much as I said it wouldn’t happen, my children have managed to write on almost EVERY single wall in my house. No matter how many coloring books they have (believe me there are probably 10 for each kid!), they’ve managed to get a wall. I decided why not let them have a wall in the house they can color on and NOT get in trouble?! Plus I figured if I inform them this is the ONLY wall they can color on, and if I catch them writing on any other walls they’ll be in trouble. It could work……

So I spent most of the day painting on Saturday. I’m pleased overall so far. We left one wall white after getting three of the walls painted. Of course it’s going to need a fresh coat of white paint because it’s a wall the kids have managed to mark up. Watch for pictures to come soon. That is if I ever make it back upstairs to blog again. Someone want to come organize for me?

Bowling – a Date night

Joel and I don’t usually do “date” nights. I mean we’ll go out for supper, and then come home. To me that’s not really a date. It’s supper, which I would’ve had to fix anyways. I love going out doing “something” instead of just sitting down for a meal. So a moth or so ago when we were trying to work on things we decided to go Cosmic Bowling, basically the lights are off except the fun, funky black lights. Everything glows and it’s really fun!

There are pink balls, green balls, all these funky colors and they all pretty much glow in the dark. Unless you find a regular ball instead (like Joel did!) He has to be the difficult one! :P

 

Most of the games ended up like this one. You wouldn’t know it but I was beating him by almost 40 at one point! He always comes back to kick my rear!

While we were out I tried to get cute pictures of each of us. His all turned out good, most of the pictures he took of me turned out like this. Not ONE of them was a good shot of my face, most of them were blurry. Oh well. At least my butt looked good in those jeans!

 

In the end we had a great night, and even ended up with a decent picture of us together!

Why does it have to be so hard?

Alternately titled : I want my Mommy.  or SERIOUSLY. or I’m about to have a nervous breakdown.

Things are rough right now. I’m stressed. I’m done. I’m snapping at my kids. I don’t like who I am.

My due date was July 6th. Knowing my history, and the fact that I have c-sections. I should have a baby in my arms right now. Why does this have to suck. Why do I have to have an empty womb, as well as an aching heart? I know some people would say, “Just get over it, and be thankful for the children you have.” Believe me. I’m thankful. I love those kids dearly.

At the same time I long for the baby that is with God. I long to know if it was a boy to complete our family or another girl to dress up pretty. I just want to know. Would it make it easier. Probably not. But would I feel better knowing. Yes. Or not. I don’t know. It’s not something I can answer at this point.

That’s not the only thing on my plate. My step sister is getting married on Sat. Yes, this Sat. July 3rd. I’m helping out so much. And everyone is so stressed. I’m worried about how things will turn out for her. Honestly I think I’m more stressed about her wedding, than I was my own.

Probably because mine I KNEW the day of, there was nothing I could do to change the way things played out. With this wedding, I know I can change how things play out if I’m in the right spot at the right time. I can help her if she misplaces something. If the flower girl looses her basket (which Kaitlynn better not) I can help her find it. I can help. My own wedding I was helpless.

There is so much to do yet.

My boss called today. Not the diaper store owner (I spent all day there, which was marvelous btw but that’s another post for another day!). My “real” job. The one that I do on the weekends. She basically told me that I HAVE to come in today after Joel gets home from work. Because she needs to go home and clean her house so her kids can come over.

I have 3 people staying at my house Sat. night. My house is TRASHED. Seriously. If CPS came over, they’d take my kids away, I’m sure. Well they probably wouldn’t because there is food in the fridge, clean clothes in their drawers, running water. You know. But still.

Guess what I’m getting at, (if you’re still here) is why does life have to be so hard? This isn’t even the most of my problems right now. But those things I’d rather not go into detail about for the whole world to see. I’m just tired of being stressed. I’m tired of things being so hard. FOR ONCE I’d love to just get a break. Where I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to have to handle any given situation. Things would come easy. Not that I don’t want to have to work for things.

I’m just tired of working so hard to get so little.

Hopefully the next post will be back to your regular scheduled picture viewing.

I’ve been Tagged

I’ve been tagged by three separate bloggers in the past couple weeks! I love making such good bloggy friends, and I love it when they give me awards. Sometimes I’m not good about responding. Today I want to get them all into one post, and tag some more great bloggy friends!

*Sadly I cannot find the other two nominations! I know who they were, I just cannot find their blogs….and well Joel is chomping at the bit to get cows moved today! I’d better get a move on so I don’t upset him! LOL So if you tagged me, please please let me know again in these comments and I’ll dedicate another post to it!!!! *

Jess over at Welcome to the Zoo tagged me with this lovely award! You might remember I helped Jess out a while back by getting a bunch of cloth diapers donated and mailed out her way! She’s such a sweet lady!!

The Rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

First of all Thanks Jess! You’re such a sweet mama and I’m glad to know you! I’m glad we’ve become friends!  I’ve decided I’m going to share 15 things about myself, and then tag 7 mommies!!! Mainly because of time constraints I’m doing it this way!

1. I hate doing laundry. Well not so much washing/drying just folding. I also hate to put it away. It’s not uncommon to come over to my house at any time and see a basket of laundry or folded laundry just sitting on my floor. In fact there are two baskets sitting in the living room now, and folded laundry just sitting there! :(

2.I love baseball season, and Joel is coaching. Which means I’m doing books. . . I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to books! OOPS! I’m getting there though! Joel just laughs at them!

3. Sometimes I schedule my blog posts. Really I don’t know if I’d ever blog if I didn’t schedule things.

4. This blog post was interrupted mid way because Joel woke up from his mini nap, and declared that it was time to leave. NOW. to move cows.

5. Yes we have cows, No we do not live on a farm. Unfortunately. Hopefully soon though.

6. I love watching Food Network. I wish I could cook like that, I’m sure I could if I tried, but I don’t try. Plus some of the things they make I know my family wouldn’t eat.

7. I also love watching HGTV and all the design shows. I wish I had a $2000 budget for every redesign I’d love to do! Sometimes I secretly think I could do it for way less!

8. I’m a horrible housekeeper. Oh wait we kind of discussed that in number 1, didn’t we?

9. The reason I’m a horrible house keeper? My friends live in my computer. My sanity lives in my computer. I get on the computer to get socialization. I know if I actually got my housework done I could make real friends outside my computer…..Don’t worry Joel and I argue about this all the time, so don’t tell him I actually admitted that. (BTW Joel if you’re reading this, which I’m sure you are….just totally ignore this one!)

10. I love to cook, but can only do it if the kitchen is clean. Want to know when my kitchen gets clean? Yup right before I cook it…

11.Secretly I’d love to have  a clean house. I go to bed thinking of ways I can be a better housekeeper, better wife. Sadly when I wake up though those ideas are gone.

12. Why do all these random things have to do with cleaning….probably b/c my house is trashed and I know it! :(

13. I love to read. Books. But not steamy romance novels. Nope I like Jr & HS fiction. Why I have no idea. I can’t seem to read slutty novels or even science fiction novels.

14. I can crochet…..but I hardly ever finish anything. I’ve only ever finished 3 things. A blanket for Kaitlynn…..(that I started for MacKenzie), and the hat & sweater I did for my niece.

15. I also love to sew! But see number 14.

16……….I know I said I’d only do 15……but I forgot to tag people! :( OOPS!!! See how forgetful I am!

I’m going to tag these amazing blogs, not only because they’re my friends, but because I love reading what they write!
Katie from Katie Talks About
Amanda from “popp”ing out one letter at a time
Melissa from My 2 Blessings
Gayle from The White House
Joanna from Baby Gator’s Den 
Kelli from Betters Days Ahead

Children’s Museum – Field Trip

We went on the last field trip of First Grade last week. It was a rainy cold day and at first I didn’t know if we’d get to enjoy the park for lunch or not, but the clouds parted and we were able to have a nice day. First up was the Children’s Museum, and then the park for lunch, and then off to the UNL Dairy Store where we got a tour as well as sample ice cream!

 

The tunnels were closed off when we first got there but as soon as they opened up, all the kids headed straight for them!

Dahrran was chased by the girls.

Dahrran loves the water whenever we go. And then there is Dawson & Dahrran two farm boys at heart!

Dahrran’s class minus one student. This is the whole first grade with both teachers. There are 11 kids in Dahrran’s class!

On the bus ride home. Daylee & Dahrran. She was a rabbit he was a penguin.

A fun weekend!

The weekend went way too fast, but it was so much fun! We had a great time just hanging out. We hung out at the Naturally Green Expo all weekend. I have to say I was not impressed at all! It was rather dull. They said there would be thousands of people and at the end of day one they hadn’t even gotten rid of their 500 free gift bags! :( I’m not sure where it went wrong. I can say that there wasn’t really any advertising in front of the building to let you know it was there. I drove right past it on Saturday when I headed down there. It honestly could’ve been a great show if they’d actually got people in the door!

I did get to talk with a few mommies about cloth diapers. Just not as many as I’d liked! We were able to inform a few grandma’s though. One of them even informed us her daughter was still using pins & plastic pants! We couldn’t believe it. So we sent grandma away with a Snappi and a Thirsties cover in hopes that she can convince her daughter to use them. There was also another grandma there who informed us her daughter was using pocket diapers, but wanted to buy her some prefolds. She came back the next day and informed us her daughter was too good for prefolds  & bought some diaper pins instead for herself!

All in all though I had a good time hanging out with Jess. We went to a great Mexican place with the best Margarita’s as well as the best chicken taco salads! I so want to go back. Maybe I can convince Jess to bring me one when I crave one now. . . Or not but still! YUM!! I’m not sure if it’s a local just to Omaha place or what, but I LOVE IT!! It was nice to get to hang out with the girls & not have to worry about kids the next morning. I’d do it again in a heart beat!



Here is just a little sneak peek of the outfit I made for our new niece. I will have more pictures later as I edit them but I wanted to show you the little sweater/hat combo! Let me know what you think!

My sister is coming home this weekend to stay! The first time in MONTHS!! I love her but she hasn’t stayed the night with us in a long time! I miss my sister! This just means that I need to get the 5 loads of laundry that are sitting on the guest bed folded and put away! I’ve been doing good at getting laundry washed but I need to get them folded! Anyone want to come help??

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I know I haven’t drawn a Favorite Fluff Friday winner yet from last week. Nor did I get the new post up. Sadly, I think Favorite Fluff Friday will be coming to an end soon. Unless we have another baby I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it!! Kaitlynn is going to be potty training soon, and so I’m looking more for cloth trainers. If you know of someone who makes great ones I’d appreciate if you’d point me in their direction! It’s getting harder and harder to change Kaitlynn’s diaper as well as to take pictures for Favorite Fluff Friday’s!
Without Further Ado I give you the winner of the Favorite Fluff Friday Tot Wraps winner!

Comment number 64 belongs to a great mom! Kelli has become one of my good friends and I’m so excited for her! 

Go on over check out her blog and give her some loves! She’s a SAHM to two beautiful kiddos! Landyn & Lilly are just 15 months apart so she’s got her hands full but is doing a wonderful job!!!

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That about ends this post!  I’m hoping I can catch up on Laundry enough to come back to my computer and catch up on blogging! I miss all my favorite blogs. I’ve lurked on a few lately but haven’t had the time to comment! Just know I’m thinking about you all & wish I had more time to come leave you some love!! Hopefully this week!

Busy Weekend Ahead

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven’t drawn a winner for the Tot Bots Giveaway. Maybe tomorrow, but I doubt it! You see I’m headed to Omaha for a weekend away. It’s going to be so much fun. I get to hang out with an awesome mama, as well as tell everyone about the amazing world of today’s Modern Cloth Diapers!!!!!!! Plus did you notice I said away….that means NO kids! I’m going by myself!

Bet you didn’t know I was excited. It’s been the first time I’ve been away from my kiddos/husband since Thanksgiving. I love my kids, but at as any mom knows sometimes we just need a break. So Joel will be home with the kiddos all weekend. I’m hoping my house is clean when I get home….but I doubt it! LOL I did try to clean as much as possible before I left, but that consisted of the girls’ room & closet, as well as my room/closet. Such a slacker I know. There is clean laundry though. I’ve done probably 10 loads since Tuesday. WHERE does it all COME from???

In other random news. I have a bunch of pictures on my computer to blog about, including Dahrran’s Field Trip, and a few from a little session I did with our newest niece… Oh did I forget to mention she was here?? I did! oops… Any who Bailey Anne joined the Benes/Cast family on April 21, was 21 inches 8lbs 10oz. She’s such a cutie! We spent the day over there on Wednesday just helping/hanging out!

I also crocheted a sweater and hat for Miss Bailey. I’ve gotten so many complements on it that I’m thinking of making custom orders as need be. I’m not sure I’d want to actually open a Etsy store or anything, but they are uber cute! Esp. the hats! LOVE THEM! Now to just get motivated enough to make them for the girls.

Okay I need to get to bed. It’s almost midnight, and I’ve been up way too late this whole week. (Plus, I still have to pack my bags yet, just don’t tell anyone!) Have a great weekend!

10 on Tuesday

1. This is going to be quick because there are random thoughts running through my head right now and it’s already 11:33pm! It’s been such a long week, and it’s only Tuesday!

2. Two sweet friends text messaged me yesterday making sure I was alright because we’ve just been running so much this last week that I wasn’t on twitter all weekend! It felt soo good to just have friends who know when I’m not around, and that’s totally not like me! I love getting to know people on twitter and the adult interaction is amazing. Just the friendships I’ve made are amazing!

3. On a last minute whim I decided on Friday night that I was going to head out to Earth Day Omaha to meet up with Jessica Quick from Top to Bottom Baby Boutique. I figured heck why not! I’m so glad I did. Jessica is so sweet. I mean I knew she was, because of all of our late night conversations, but she’s even sweeter in person! I had promised Joel that I’d be headed home around 4pm because it was a 2 hour drive home. Come 6:30 I was still in Omaha helping Jessica pack up! At that point Joel told me that Kaitlynn & I were on our own for supper. So I decided I needed to go see the Diaper room over at Jess’s house. Jess was nice enough to give me the grand tour of her house and neighborhood. Since I was on my own for supper, we decided to head out for supper then too! It was so much fun!

4. Just a few pictures from Earth Day Omaha. You can see more of them here.

View Full Album

5. Dahrran had his first baseball practice tonight. It was so much fun & he had fun! Joel is coaching this year, and so that is a huge step for them both. Last year was a trying year to say the least and so we’re hoping for a more laid back learning, having fun, type of year!

6. Joel’s been working so hard to just get us enough kids for a team. Thanks to the coaches we’ve had for the last two years we’ve had a lot of families leave our town to play in other towns. He got the call last Thursday that we were going to have just enough kids to play. He was so excited, and I was excited for him as well!

7. I’m so far behind on blogging right now I’ll never catch up!!

8. So who misses Favorite Fluff Friday??? I DO! I feel so bad because I haven’t had the time to get them up and posted! So as of right now I’m not sure if I’m going to run a couple together or what I’ll do! But what I do know is that I’ve got 3 great products in the line up, with a couple more in the future!

9. Part of the reason I’ve been away and not blogging? It’s been beautiful outside! We’ve spent quite a few days at the park. In fact just this weekend we went 3 days in a row.

  

10. Joel came down stairs just a few minutes ago. He didn’t look pleased that I was still awake, and on the computer! Which means I’m off to bed! Night all! :)

10 on Tuesday

1. Went back to the dentist today. They took x-ray’s and found that there were bone fragments still in the socket where they pulled my wisdom tooth. They cleaned it out and he said it should be good to go now! Let’s hope he’s right. Cause I’m done with this stupid thing.

2. Dahrran is growing up too fast! He has his school program on Thursday night, and has TWO speaking parts. I’m excited, but I know he is nervous. He also has TWO birthday parties to attend this week. One tomorrow night, and another on Sunday.

3.
Along with all the other things I’ve had on my plate lately, I started a new job. A job that I LOVE! And the best part, I can set my own hours, work as many or as little as I’d like, work in my pj’s or get all dressed up, and I get to promote Cloth Diapers! What am I doing? I’m the new Social Media Coordinator for Top to Bottom Baby Boutique, an Omaha based cloth diaper store. Jess is great to work with. I’m in charge of promoting Top to Bottom Baby Boutique via twitter, Facebook and their Blog (which is in the design process and totally my baby!). I’m so excited to be doing something I love! And the fact that I can do it from anywhere is great too!

4. Just a little insight on what it takes to get 27 kids to sit still long enough to get pictures snapped. That includes 8 mama’s plus grandma trying to get at least ONE good picture! (FORGET IT! I'm done! Lost the picture because it looked goofy, and now I can't get it to upload again! Guess it's telling me to just get off the computer and clean my house!)

5. Windows Live Writer is pissing me off today….so I guess this is a 5 on Tuesday instead!

What we’ve been up to.

I know I’ve been a slacker. But to my defense it’s spring….and I LOVE spring. Spring/Fall are my favorite seasons. To top off the fact that it’s spring, it’s not raining…yet at least. So we’ve been outside cleaning the yard, and just enjoying the nice weather.

I’ve also had a few projects under my belt. There’s this one….where I helped a fellow Cloth Diaper mom out, and then this one….where I’ve started making my own Cloth Wipes for other Cloth Diaper mom’s.
I’ve also been slacking on the Favorite Fluff Friday event. I do have 3 reviews in the process…..and they’re ALL diapers! So soon there will be another fun Favorite Fluff Friday review going on!

We’re also looking to put our house back on the market. Anyone who’s had their house for sale knows how much of a pain this can be. And to do it with three kids is even worse! I’m trying my hardest to get it clean enough to even list. Over the last few months we’ve just cluttered everything up, and so I’m in the process of spring cleaning!

 An update on my tooth....I got ahold of the doctor and they prescribed a prescription. I've taken it all, but there is still gunk leaking out of my tooth. I feel like I have a huge zit in my mouth! :( I do go to see them tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully we'll know more then. 

I hope you all haven’t left me! I promise to answer any questions you had for me, and if you didn’t get yours in yet, go ahead and leave them here. I plan to post them on Thursday this week, so get them in! :)

The Hard Subject

Ever have something you don’t want to talk about, but know deep down you have to talk about it? Yup. I’m having one of those HEY WAKE UP and talk/listen idiot! Life is here, and it’s smacking you in the face!

What the hell am I talking about? Work. NOT being a SAHM anymore. Something I don’t really want to do, but it’s finally possibly the right time in our lives for me to go to work Full Time. You see I work part time, every Saturday morning I put in my two hours at the Post Office. I LOVE what I do! Honestly I love it, I love the people, I love the challenge of finding people and connecting them with that long lost card from Grandma. Did I mention that I love the people and interacting with them?

You see there is a chance for me to go full time in July 2011. By then Kaitlynn will be almost 4, and headed to preschool in the fall. BUT for me to get there, I’ve got to put in full time hours for less than full time pay. I need to find a full time sitter that won’t charge me an arm & half my right leg to let me drop the girls in at a day or two’s notice! Because really that’s what’s stopping me. . . .

Or so I thought. As Joel and I were talking about it tonight, I realized. That’s not what’s holding me back. Heck look, I did it for 6 weeks, and then another 6 weeks, and then yet another 6 weeks before I was finally able to stay home full time. That’s when it hit me that it wasn’t daycare that was holding me back.

It’s the possibility of us having another baby. Possibility. You see because right now I’d love to believe that God has another baby in his great big plan for us.  But I’m not certain. Uncertainty is what holds me back. I deeply WANT another baby, I would cherish one with open arms, even if that baby wasn’t physically/mentally healthy. I just  long to hold another baby, MY baby in my arms.

At the same time, it’s time. It’s time for me to get a job, and help support my family. Times are hard, and jobs like this don’t come along to most people. Straight out of high school, with no college education, and I could make MORE than my husband. Who by the way went to College for two year, earned his Associates Degree.

For the last 7 years I have been a Stay at Home mom. I’ve welcomed 2 more babies, cried over the loss of one, and well enjoyed every stinking minute of it.

But we’re in a time when the Economy SUCKS. And that’s nicely put. Along with whatever the Obama new healthcare bill will do to us, I’m scared. I’m scared for where our family will be in 5 years. Because in 5 years I’ll have a 12, 10, 8 year olds. Two ALMOST teenage girls. We all know what that will mean. Name brand jeans, shoes, hair & makeup.

We’re at a point in our family life that we could really benefit from a two income family. We could save, actually save money, instead of living paycheck to paycheck. We could pay for our children’s college…and YES I do insist they go to college.

So I’m torn, what to do. Because really if I go for this job, I’m probably going to say good bye to the hopes of wanting another baby.

What would you do?

Wordless Wednesday . . . A day at the Children’s Museum

 

The see through elevator leads you to the most magical places.

My little Postal Employee’s!

  

And then we’re off to the moon.

There was face painting.

 

Along with dressing up.

   

Finally the big “obligatory” picture in the big chair!

  

A Special THANKS to Aunt Bridget who came along!

And one more of my new haircut….cause well now it’s really growing on me! :)

Mommy & Me Monday

 Welcome to a fun new Meme hosted by Krystyn. Where you’re encouraged to get back into the pictures with your kids. If you’re like me, you know how few pictures you have of just you and your kids. I try to get in at least one picture every time I pick up my camera, but it doesn’t usually make the “cut”.   Here is one of Mommy & Kaitlynn this weekend at the Children’s Museum. It also showcases my new haircut. I wasn’t sure I liked it at first, but it’s growing on me now!